I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize