Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She's the barista slut.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
