Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
