Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
