Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize