I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
