i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
