I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
