Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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