I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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