please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
