I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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