TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We don't watch enough power rangers
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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