quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
