Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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