I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
