suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
