who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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