I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
