these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize