they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
