If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
