Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
