I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
