we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
