She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
