people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
