You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
