Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
