he wants to bone in the snuggie
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
