who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
if i died would you start the facebook group?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
FUCK WHALES
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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