Sry I called you an 8
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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