i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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