and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
