If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
