She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
