please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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