the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
