I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
