I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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