And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
birth control should be required to get into college
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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