Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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