Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
