U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
