I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
