Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
