i don't like sucking hair
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She's the barista slut.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize