so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
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