is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
