Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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