my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
