I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
