I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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