yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
