I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
