the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
