Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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