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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back

  (906): View more from Michigan

  I resent that

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.

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• (714): View more from California

  I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...

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• (731): View more from Tennessee

  Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.

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