Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
