sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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