Already got asked if we're dating
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
