his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
