Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize