I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
