Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
